It’s on again and this year the boys and girls from Big Timber Country are determined to wrest the trophy back from the Ditch Dudes.
The New Zealanders piked out last year. They were too frightened to send someone over, but we sent them Hercules Hetherington. Here’s how it was reported on this very page:
IN a startling turn of events, a school teacher claiming to be from Green Island, an island off the coast of Dunedin (NZ), has won the Globe Vista Australasian Cherry Pip/Stone Spitting Championship.Aaron Collins spat a massive 12.58 metres to to win the event and the right to spit in the faces of 5000 Australians in the return spit in Manjimup this coming December.It is believed Hercules Hetherington was handed a drink just before the final and the question has been raised: Was it spiked? Were his knees hobbled? Who was that man in the background? Why did the resident official turn his back at the last minute?Hetherington, who normally spits well over 15 metres was left staring at a pip just over 11 metres from his standing position.
It’s been a while since the Australasian Globe Vista Trophy was held by Aussies but all signs suggest this year could be the one.
What are those signs? What has brought us to this point in our fruit growing history where we think that a mob of growling men and women spitting tiny fruit stones, but mainly saliva, is of any importance?
No idea. It just is. It’s the way we are. Some bastard has a trophy that belongs to us. We started the bloody thing.
It’s like the poor Poms, nothing they would like more than to win the world cup, in anything: rugby, cricket, soccer, tennis. They came up with the lot and they hardly ever see a trophy.
Why did they come up with them in the first place? Good question. The weather, probably, although that is changing so fast it is doubtful they will come up with any more games before we all disappear into the coean.
My tip: be in Manjimup this Saturday December 8th, for the biggest and nastiest spit-off you have ever seen.
BIG HOO HA FRIDAY NIGHT
CONCERT IN TIMBER PARK SATURDAY NIGHT
LONG TABLE LUNCH ON SUNDAY